Gis A Job!

I haven’t been very prolific on here recently. I have been writing lots….mainly personal statements declaring how bloody marvellous I am, in the hope that someone will take me on when my job role is made redundant at the end of March. It’s a good job I’m pretty relaxed as early pregnancy and being faced with unemployment isn’t the best of combos. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change it for the world, but talk about awkward timing. Still, that’s infertility for ya! Anyway, if I think about the money I’m saving on Sauvignon Blanc then we should have a fair bit put away by the time the new addition comes. ūüėČ

The thought of interviewing is quite daunting, luckily the bump/bloat can still be hidden relatively well at the moment so that shouldn’t give things away and what’s a little white lie between me and a potential employer? ¬†I also worry about getting a job offer, would I tell them at that point or would I wait until my (rapidly increasing) bottom was placed firmly on my swivel chair? Any wise words from people who have been in a similar situation would be much appreciated.

Apart from employment woes not much has been going on. There’s been the usual ‘ ugh, I’m sick of feeling sick symptoms’ quickly followed by the ‘WHY HAVE MY SYMPTOMS DISAPPEARED’ panic. I’ve now learnt to enjoy those rare days/hours. I’m waiting patiently for my first midwife appointment on Thursday morning and hopefully we’ll get a date for our 12 week scan. Then I can really start to worry again.

I also made my debut on the airwaves?!?! this week. I was kindly invited to take part in an interview for an episode of The Fertility Podcast, a brilliant online resource¬†offering hope and advice to people trying to conceive. ¬†You should check it out…..not just the one featuring me obvs. There’s a great back catalogue of podcasts on the website featuring interviews with fertility experts like Zita West and Emma Cannon as well as real life stories with people like little ol’ me.

You can download the podcasts here and can follow them on Twitter https://twitter.com/fertilitypoddy

Right, those applications won’t write themselves! Hmmmm, I wonder if the midwife needs a PA??? Please send positive job based vibez!

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When your ‘big knickers’ simply aren’t big enough!

I’d like to start by thanking Sir Philip Green for the current range of stretchy high waist leggings available in Topshop. You sir, have got me through the festive season. I couldn’t have left the house without your help. Friends please note, I now own several pairs of these so am not in fact living in the same trousers day in, day out. Special mentions must also go out to Boohoo for their range of swing dresses, at least these come in different colors so I almost look like I’m mixing it up a bit.

I know a bit weight gain is to be expected….especially when you add the festive season into the mix but when you can no longer fit into ‘those pants’, the ones reserved for time of the month or the last few days of an all inclusive holiday you know you might be eating a bit too much. I’m not sure it’s even the quantity of food, it’s probably more down to my choices. At the moment all I want is salty foods, usually stuff with gravy. I’d probably have gravy on my Rice Krispies (other rice based cereals are available) if the opportunity arose.

I’m not going to be too hard on myself though, I’ve read that it’s easier to get back into a healthier eating regime in the 2nd trimester….I’m guessing that’s because I might have some actual energy to get back in the kitchen. Here’s hoping.

Apart from the constant rustling of sweet wrappers, this has been my quietest Christmas ever, I have ‘forced myself’ to socialise on the grand total of 3 occasions. I’ve found it quite difficult to get motivated to go out and got upset at myself the other day for choosing to stay in in my pyjamas rather than go out with friends, it’s not like me to turn down a night out. I’ve been assured that it’s perfectly normal to want to go into hibernation mode in early pregnancy so that makes me feel a bit better…..and a bit stupid for weeping over staying at home with exclusive use of the remote control. I think I’m over it now though, I went out last night with no issues (it may have been the thought of a proper cooked meal that swayed me mind).

So, as the last hours of 2014 approach, and only the rubbish hard centres are left in the tin of Quality Street I’d like to wish you all a Happy New Year.

We started our 2nd frozen cycle on 1st January 2014, and although we always remained positive I don’t think we quite expected that we would start 2015 being almost 10 weeks pregnant. As well as being our quietest Christmas it’s also been the best and we can’t wait for our 1st one as a little family next year. Right, soppy stuff out of the way…..soz!

Happy New Year y’all. Thanks for reading over the past few months and thanks for sharing your stories. I truly hope everyone gets what they want and deserve in the year to come. Much love xxx

1st Trimester – Sick as a chip

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I’ve had dinner and I’m still running through the contents of the fridge¬†and kitchen cupboards¬†in my head. Not because I’m hungry (for once) but because the only thing that seems to stop the nausea is constant eating. I’m sick……of food! A sentence I never thought would leave my mouth.

I initially welcomed the morning/all day/night sickness with open arms. I was actually looking forward to it, a sign that we had finally gotten what we had wanted for years. However after feeling sick constantly for the past 3 days I’m starting to feel a bit fed up of it. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change it for the world but a brief reprieve would be appreciated. I also feel bad for moaning about it and often find myself apologising to P for it. I almost feel like it’s frowned upon for someone in our situation, people who have gone through so much to get to this point, to now be moaning over what others may see as trivial. Yet women who fall pregnant naturally without encountering any issues probably don’t give it a second thought when complaining about feeling tired or nauseous etc (just my opinion, I may be wrong). Why should we feel bad for complaining though, to be fair we’ve already endured enough side effects, upheaval and emotion before getting pregnant so maybe we’re entitled to more complaining if you ask me.

When not complaining (or sleeping) my other main thing is finding a food to help ease the nausea. I found myself eating handfuls of dry Rice Krispies at midnight 2 nights ago because it was the only thing I could stomach. A low point! I’ve actively searched forums and websites looking for peoples suggestions and have so far experimented with green apples (hmmmmm), ginger biscuits (maybe) and Salt and Vinegar crisps (personal fave, although this is probably down to the fact that they’re crisps rather than helping to ease the nausea).

So, if you’ll excuse me I’m off to stock up on multi-packs of crisps until I find an alternative. It’s probably best that I stock up on yet more pairs of stretchy trousers too while I’m on, it is the season to eat, drink (non alcohol obvs) and be merry after all. If we’re to be merry then it possibly means that I need to stop complaining too.

Actually, while I’m on! When will I start glowing? My skin currently resembles that of a hormonal teenager, I could probably get a walk on part in Grange Hill or whatever it is teenagers watch these days. Right, rant over…..promise!

So here it is Merry Christmas…….

Just a brief lunchtime update today, I’ve been mega busy and stressing about yesterdays scan that I forgot about writing to be honest.

So we’ve made it this far, we had our 1st scan yesterday and everything is as it should be. I measured at 6 weeks 2 days and we have been given an expected due date of 30th July 2015. I think it may be finally sinking in!

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We’ve been set free from our lovely clinic and can return to the normality of our usual GP. Great news but I must admit I feel a bit nervous about not having their support anymore, it all feels a bit scary.

Luckily the festive season is upon us, so that should hopefully help us to relax until the 12 week scan. I’ll remember to write also, especially seeing as though there’ll be no alcohol/hangovers to deal with this Christmas. A Christmas with no gin…..imagine that!

I’m off to see Kasabian tonight so let the festivities commence. Mind, I had to plead with OH to allow me to go, he was (understandably so) worried that I may get knocked or get caught up in the crowds but I’ve promised I’ll stay at the back and do nothing more than tap my foot and applaud. All very civilised! I’ve been to hundreds of gigs and can honestly say the only time I’ve ever been involved in any incidents/altercations was at a Boyzone concert….don’t judge me people, I was only there doing my duties as a nice big sister.

I’m also off out tomorrow for our girlie Christmas night out. I’ll try to stay awake past 9pm but I struggle with 2 nights out in a row as it is, God knows how I’ll do it now that all I want to do is eat or sleep. They’ll probably find me knocking out some zzzzzzz’s next to the buffet table.

So here it is Merry Christmas! Best Christmas present ever, the baby obvs….I’m still coming to terms with the Gin free Christmas part ūüôā

I’m only sleeping…….or eating!

According to an IVF due date calculator I found online I should be 5 weeks & 5 days pregnant today. Mind you, the website doesn’t look like it’s been updated since 1989 but I’ll take it, it’s nice to have an idea.

To my other half it probably feels like it’s been a lot longer (ps I’m going to call him P from now on, in order to save 9 characters and prevent the onset of RSI). I don’t know if it’s the anxiety of the scan approaching or dare I say it again…..the hormones, but I’ve been a tad irritable this weekend (soz P). I’m normally a placid, happy go lucky kinda girl but on Friday I went as far as to beep my horn at someone who dared to stay stationary at a green light for 3 seconds longer than needed! I know, Michael Douglas in Falling Down has nothing on me!

It’s been pretty quiet on the symptoms front, unless you count the already expanding chest area. The soreness is unreal, sensitive is not the word! I swear they could pick up a gentle draught from a door closing. My sense of smell is heightened massively too (maybe sensitive is the word after all). As redundancy is fast approaching I could put this new found skill to good use, I should maybe consider a move into the Police (not the band). I could certainly give some of their sniffer dogs a run for their money at the moment.

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I think tiredness has been the main thing for me so far. I’m not complaining, I don’t need an excuse to hit the sack, but getting out of it’s been a struggle. P might be complaining though, tiredness does not make for an lovingly created dinner. I usually love cooking but I’m afraid the ready meal/pizza aisle in Marksies has seen some action this past week. It’s making me worry about how I’ll eat healthily during pregnancy, one cannot survive on crisp sandwiches alone for 8 more months! I’m hoping this is just a ‘brief’ phase and I’ll be back in the kitchen rattling those pots n’ pans before long. Unless of course dearest P takes pity on me this evening, decides to channel his inner Jamie Oliver and rustles me up a banquet fit for a king…..or I’d make do with a banquet fit for a tired girl going through her 1st trimester of pregnancy. *pretends to be asleep until dinner is served*

 

Eating for two???

A week in since we got our positive result and I’m still not sure it’s sunk in for either of us yet. To be fair I have spent the majority of the week with my head over the toilet bowl or the ‘sick bucket’ that has taken up residency next to my side of the bed, so I haven’t had much time to dwell on it. After making and scranning a curry on Sunday night….with sides….followed by profiteroles, I, unsurprisingly so, began to feel a bit sick. I convinced myself that I’d eaten too much, usually I can put away impressive amounts of food without being ill so a bit of me also thought maybe it was morning sickness kicking in.

I pretty much threw up every half hour from 9pm through to the following morning, although by 2am it was more like 10 mins of retching (and crying) every 30 mins (lush). Of course I then started to panic that something was wrong, I’ve had an ectopic in the past and remember feeling sick beforehand so was thinking that maybe it was happening again. Luckily (for me, not for him) the other half rushed in after only being at work for 40 mins with exactly the same issues. I felt bad for him but it put our mind to rest that we’d simply picked up a bug that other family members have recently had.

So, after 2 days of a diet consisting of bananas and toast we’re both starting to feel ‘normal’. Although my appetite seems to have done one – I’ve just been practically force fed some soup.

Now that my head is less preoccupied with vomming, I can begin to concentrate on other matters and try and take in the fact that we are pregnant (it still feels really weird saying that). Although I don’t think we’ll really begin to let ourselves believe it until at least the 1st scan which is 2 weeks today…..more waiting.

In the meantime I’ve been reading up on all of the important things like what to wear (I like to think I’ll channel Kourtney Kardashians maternity style but no doubt I’ll end up more Courtney Love), which ‘travel system’ to buy (what happened to the good ol’ pushchair) and of course updating the list of potential names (this mainly involves removing the other halfs suggestions).

It’s difficult to blog about your pregnancy when not much is going on, well nothing that you can see or feel anyway. In a weird way I’d actually been looking forward to morning sickness but after this week I think I could happily take it or leave it now…..I’ve done my bit, hoping for plain sailing after this. For now I’m just going to lie here, ride the waves of nausea and dream about the day I feel up to devouring that second helping of profiteroles.