I always hoped that I’d be able to write this post, however I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. To cut to the chase, I appear to be up the mother-flippin duff! Of course, going through IVF you hope that it will, one day, end in a positive pregnancy result but when it does it’s a bloody big shock.
The shock and disbelief first kicked in on Tuesday evening. In previous cycles I’ve never done a home test before having my blood test at the clinic. I was always too scared of the result and wanted to stay in my little bubble of maybe being pregnant. This time I did actually feel different and the not knowing was making me feel more anxious than usual. We decided to go ahead and do one, thinking it was better to put ourselves out of our misery earlier. For the 1st time ever we saw that elusive second line. Cue 10 minutes of staring and going back to check it several times, at different angles, in different lights, in different rooms, via a photo taken on his phone?!?!?!?
We kept it to ourselves and vowed not to take it as gospel so as not to be let down on Wednesday if the blood test came back negative. I went in for my test early Wednesday morning, prepared for the long wait to get the results back. In the past I’ve generally received the call at around 4:50 so when my phone rang just after 3pm a little bit of me thought it must be good news. And it was, the best news I’ve ever had!!!
We’re both still in complete shock and it doesn’t feel real. I’d always imagined that the scenario of getting a positive would be totally different to the reality. I didn’t think I’d be ringing the other half while he was at work to just say “good news” as he was with his apprentice, nor did I imagine I’d be on the phone to my mother whilst sitting in a Tesco car park, telling her off for crying (and therefore making me cry) as there was a man in the car opposite looking at me like I’d lost the plot….or my Clubcard perhaps. It’s not like that in the movies.
So, over 24 hours have passed since we got the results that we’ve dreamed of for ages now. I still can’t quite believe it and don’t think I will until our 1st scan. The other half won’t believe it until I’ve actually given birth.
I’d not really considered what I would do with regards to blogging when we did fall pregnant, maybe deep down I had come to terms with the fact that it just might not happen. As I started this blog with the intention of sharing our story, I’m going to keep it up as I’m actually enjoying the process of writing…..and it’s good to have success stories out there. If you want to keep reading that’s fab but I’ll totally understand if those of you following me who are going through the same process find it difficult to read and stop following me (I’ll still be following you though……does that sound a bit stalkerish?). Also, to friends and family reading this who I may not have told yet can I ask that we keep it between ourselves (and this internationally accessed publishing platform 🙂 )for now as it’s still very early days.